What spectators can expect:

• THE CABER TOSS (Tree Throwing): Competitors stand upright and lift a roughly 17-foot, 90-pound telephone pole (the caber) by its base. They then run forward and toss it. The goal isn't distance; it's to have it flip end-over-end and land perfectly in line, like a giant, angry clock hand pointing at 12 o’clock. If it lands sideways, they lose.

• THE STONE PUT (Aggressive Gardening): Think of Olympic shot put, but much heavier and with a stone that looks like it was stolen from a castle wall. Competitors wear kilts and make faces that suggest they are trying to lift a car off a kitten.

• THE SHEAF TOSS (Aggressive Farming): Athletes take a bag of dead grass, put it on a pitchfork, and try to launch it over a bar higher than your house. It is the only sport where you are rewarded for acting like a panicked medieval peasant trying to throw burning trash over a castle wall.

• THE HAMMER THROW (Spinning to Win): A large metal ball on a wooden handle is whirled around the head, centrifugal force threatening to fling the athlete into the audience, before being hurled away. Basically a way to pretend you’re a human helicopter.

• WEIGHT OVER BAR (The "Handbag" Method): Athletes use one hand to throw a massive metal weight over a high horizontal bar. Interestingly, one technique is referred to as "the handbag technique" because the starting position looks exactly like a lady holding her purse while looking for her keys.

• THE FASHION STANDARD: All athletes must wear a kilt. While it is tradition, it also makes watching the heavy athletics way more entertaining, as you watch powerful athletes try to gracefully toss a tree while wearing a traditional pleated kilt with a waist-to-hem opening held closed by a safety pin.

• SAFETY: The crowd is separated from competing athletes and the heavy items they're tossing about by a single, thin rope. It adds to the thrill.

• WEATHER: It will be sunny. Then it will rain. Then it will be windy. Then it will be sunny again. Maybe.